


The Arms of the Ocean

by libraryseraph



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-15 07:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2220213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libraryseraph/pseuds/libraryseraph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asha Greyjoy finds her baby brother. And she brings him home<br/>(Divergence from book canon AU where Asha rescues Theon)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Arms of the Ocean

There were noises in the castle where there shouldn’t be noises. People were running and shouting. Reek pulled himself into a tiny ball, wrapping his arms over his head. Hopefully, they wouldn’t hurt him. He had been whipped only a few days ago, and surely he couldn’t be bad enough to warrant a second punishment so soon. He hardly dared to breathe, too afraid he would make a mistake. The noises were louder now, and clearer. The people weren’t just running and shouting: they were fighting. Reek froze in horror. If they were fighting, and they won, then they would hurt him. He was only safe with Lord Ramsay, he knew that. Even when Lord Ramsay hurt him, it was nothing compared to what the people outside would do. Maybe if he just stayed very still, nothing would happen.   
The door to the dungeons slammed open, hard enough for it to hit the wall. Reek froze. Nothing good ever came of that door opening. His whole body, everywhere he had been cut and flayed and beaten, ached. The footsteps pounded down the hallway. They could only be coming for him.   
“Please… please” Reek whimpered. He had no idea who he was talking to. All gods had abandoned him a long time ago. He burrowed into the corner as far as he could. The door to his cell was flung open, and Reek screamed.   
“Gods, please, go, don’t hurt me, I didn’t mean to do it, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” he was crying now, so hard it shook his entire body. Footsteps moved closer. Whoever had entered the cell was standing over him now.   
“Look at me.” It was a woman’s voice, and the novelty of that shocked Reek into looking up. He couldn’t see anything, just a tall figure, silhouetted against the torchlight. She crouched down.   
“Theon. It’s me.”  
“No!” Reek tried to pull away from her, but she was gripping his arm now. “Please, that’s not my name, I know my name, it’s Reek, it rhymes with sneak! Let me go!” he beat against her ineffectually with his free hand.   
“My lady, we don’t have time for this.”   
“I know.” The woman paused for a minute, and then hauled Reek over her shoulder.   
“No! Put me down!” Reek squirmed desperately in her grasp, but she was too strong.   
“Theon, I’m saving you. I’ve got you.”   
Reek struggled harder. If Lord Ramsay thought he was trying to escape, who knew what he would do.   
“Please, put me back! Tell him I was good, I know my place, please!” He was panicking now, flailing desperately. Her grip loosened, and Reek fell to the floor, landing heavily on his side. He was so focused on scrabbling away, on getting back to the safety of his cell, that he didn't notice the man standing behind him until his fist hit Reek heavily on the back of his head.

There was a voice inside his head. It clamoured that something was wrong, that things were different, but Reek ignored it. He didn't want to think about anything, he just wanted to burrow down into the warmth...   
His whole body stiffened. The warmth was wrong. His eyes snapped open: he was lying on a bed, in a room he didn't recognize. He pushed himself up, but his head swam with pain, and he nearly blacked out.   
"Hey, hey." Strong arms caught Reek, laid him back on the pillow. It was the woman from the Dreadfort again, and she looked at him with a strange emotion, one he didn't recognize. She moved one of her hands, and Reek cringed, but all she did was touch his trembling head gently. "You're safe now, Theon. I've got you."   
"I'm not Theon, I'm not." His voice broke on the last word, and he shook his head. Why didn't she understand that? "I'm Reek, my name is Reek, it rhymes with weak."   
She was silent for a few moments. Reek braced himself for her displeasure, but nothing happened.  
"God... You really do believe that, don't you?" She tilted his head up. “Do you at least know who I am?”  
Reek’s heart leapt in his throat. “I don’t know! I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He pulled his arms up to hide his head, a thin protection from the coming punishment.   
“Just try. I won’t be angry if you don’t, I promise.”  
Reek looked up slowly. This was a new jest, one he had never heard before, but if he knew anything, it was how to play along. He searched the woman’s face. She had dark golden-brown skin and a heavy jut of a nose, and she was familiar in a way Reek couldn’t quite place.   
“Asha?”   
“That’s right.” Asha smiled at him, and then suddenly pulled Reek to her chest.   
“Wh-what? I-“  
“Sssh… You did well. Don’t worry”   
Reek let himself be held. He didn’t know what was happening, but he know he must have done something right.   
Asha shifted, and Reek jerked. “My lady- Asha- Lady Asha-”  
“Don’t worry, I’ll be right back. I’m just going to get you a bath and something to eat.”   
“Lady Asha, I’m not supposed to, to bathe. I’m supposed to stink so I remember who I am, what my name is.” Reek shook. He wasn’t supposed to bathe, but he had to obey. “I’m sorry for my insolence, I really am."   
“Don’t worry. I’ll be with you. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. I promise.”   
Reek’s head snapped up. “R-really?”   
Lady Asha nodded. “Can you just wait for me here? I’ll be right back.”   
Reek nodded. He would do anything to please her and keep her kindness coming. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had treated him so kindly, like he was actually worth something. He curled up on the bed, making sure he stayed completely still. He waited for Lady Asha as patiently as he could, but soon, the panic began to set in. Maybe Lord Ramsay was coming for him now, or maybe Lady Asha had realized what a useless creature he was. He pulled the blanket around his shoulders.  
The door opened, and Reek jumped.   
“My lady, I’m sorry, I thought it was someone else…”   
Lady Asha placed the tub and the buckets on the floor. “Don’t worry. I’m sorry I scared you. Come here.”  
She lifted him from the bed. Her strong arms were gentle around his weak body, and Reek rested his head on her shoulder. She lowered him into the empty tub, and, before he could stop her, stripped his ragged clothes off. He cried out and cringed away, trying to hide his body from sight.   
“Look at me.” Reek raised his head. He could feel Lady Asha’s eyes running over him, scrutinizing every bruise and cut on his skin. “When I said I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt you, this is what I meant. None of this will ever happen to you again.”  
“Why? Why would you do that?”  
Lady Asha put a hand on his head again, gently. “Because you’re my baby brother. Even if you don’t know it, you are.”   
“I’m not, I’m not your brother, I’m not even a man.” Reek broke into tears. He wasn’t supposed to lie, he couldn’t, but if Lady Asha knew the truth, she would stop being kind to him.   
Instead, she stroked his hair. “Don’t worry. Don’t cry. I’ve got you.”  
She tilted his head up. “Can you wash yourself, or do you want me to do it?”   
“I- I don’t know. I don’t know what I want.”   
“Fine.” She poured the water into the tub. Reek huddled gratefully under its cover. Lady Asha washed him gently and firmly, and placed her hands on her back. “What happened here?”   
Reek blushed in shame. “I was…I was bad, my lady. I tripped when I was supposed to be serving Lord Ramsay. He was kind enough to let me serve him, and I was…ungrateful.” He cried harder. “I am… always bad. I’m not worth being kind to. You shouldn’t bother with me.”   
Lady Asha stroked his back gently. “Don’t say that. Come here.” She lifted him from the tub. “You aren’t bad. You’ve been hurt very badly, and I’m going to help you.”   
She set him down on the bed, and handed him some clothes “Here. Put these on.”  
Reek fumbled with his clothes. They were thick and soft. “My lady, I’m not supposed to wear these. They’re too good for me, for Reek.”   
“What’s wrong with them?”   
“Where are my old clothes? I need to wear them, Lord Ramsay gave them to me.”  
“They were filthy rags. These are clean and warm. And there’s no Ramsay here, only me.”   
One of her warm hands brushed through his now-clean hair. Reek nuzzled up against her. “I understand, my lady.” He wiggled into his clothes; they were as warm as she had promised, even if they hung off him like sails.   
"You must be hungry." At Lady Asha's words, pain clenched Reek's empty belly. He nodded cautiously. Perhaps this was the beginning of a new jape. Perhaps he would have to beg for his supper, or she would eat in front of him and he wouldn't get any.   
"When was the last time you ate?" her voice was just as gentle as before. Reek racked his mind. "It was a few days ago. One of the cooks burnt Lord Ramsay’s dinner, and once they were…done with him, they threw the food to the dogs. I managed to get some of it away.”   
“When was the last time you had a real meal?”   
Reek froze. He was sitting in his room. There was a meal in front of him, but he had no appetite.   
“I don’t remember.” He finally said, and it was true. That wasn’t him, he had no reason to remember that. Lady Asha set a plate in front of him.   
“Make sure you eat it slowly. You’ll make yourself sick if you eat too much on an empty stomach.”  
There was food on the plate. Bread, and cheese, and half a sausage. Reek picked up the bread, and broke a small piece off. It wasn’t fresh enough to be warm, but it was still soft. He ate as slowly as he could bear to, but it was so good. The cheese was sharp and pungent, and the sausage was greasy, yet filling. Even when the food was gone, he licked his fingers and went over the plate again for crumbs.   
“Here.” Lady Asha draped a blanket over his shoulders. “I have to go now, but I’ll be back in the morning.”   
“My lady…” Lady Asha looked down at him. Her eyes were warm, and that gave him strength to continue. “In the morning, will you tell me what to do? I need someone to tell me what to do, otherwise I’ll be bad. And I don’t want to be bad, I really don’t.”   
She sighed, and for a terrible moment Reek thought he had displeased her. “Aye. If you think you need it.” Reek nodded. Lady Asha was kind, and he thought she might be really kind, not just trying to trick him. The thought of that, of someone really caring for him, made him want to cry. He curled up under the blanket, and when he felt afraid, he remembered her arms around him. 

He ran as fast as he could, his weak legs pushing him onwards. The trees flew by, but he still wasn’t fast enough. They always caught him.  
They always catch me. Reek jolted awake. He was still wrapped in the blanket, but it gave him no comfort. He had to get out, now. He fumbled with the latch, but he was shaking too much to open it. It finally slipped free, and he fell out into the hall, right up against Lady Asha.   
“What’s wrong? Here, I’m here.”   
“No!” Reek grabbed her leg desperately “You have to go! You can’t be here when he comes! Please!” It was wrong and he was wrong to ever think he was safe, to think he belonged to her, but she shouldn’t suffer for what he’d done. One of her hands came down, and cupped the back of his head, gently combing through his ragged hair.   
“I’m here. He will never find you here, and if he ever did, I’d protect you.”  
“You have to go, please. He always finds me, and if he finds you too, he’ll…he’ll…” He couldn’t say it. He buried his face in Lady Asha’s leg and cried. Lady Asha unwrapped his arms, lifting him up. “Can you walk?”   
“Not…not far. I won’t be able to get away, I can’t run, really.”   
She fished a cloak out of the corner, and draped it over his shoulders. “I just need to show you something.” She handed him a pair of gloves and boots. Reek fumbled them on, grateful to finally be able to hide his hands from view. Lady Asha took him by the arm and led him out of his room. There was a narrow hallway outside, and a steep stairway. She helped him up it, and into the light.

They were on a boat, he realized. It was large, and beyond its deck, the sea moved. It stretched from horizon to horizon, and it moved like a living thing. The sky was clouded, but the sun glowed from behind the clouds, and the clean sea wind ruffled his cloak.   
"See? We're out in the middle of the ocean. There's no greenlander who could find us here."   
Reek nodded and swallowed once. "My lady... The sea... I had forgotten..." he turned to her, and his hood slipped off. His pale hair lifted in the sea wind. The wind was strong and cold, but he hardly noticed. He tilted his head to the sky, letting the faint sunlight play along his cheeks. Someone touched his shoulder, and he jumped, but it was just Lady Asha. "My lady, it's so...so beautiful. I had forgotten."   
She smiled sadly at that. "I know."  
"Can- Can I stay up here? I don't want to forget again."   
She draped an arm around him. "You'll get chilled if you stay up here too long. You can come up whenever you want, just make sure you don't get sick."   
"Thank you" The sea was more than beautiful, it was right. The clean wind combed through his hair, carrying the boat away. Away from the Dreadfort. Away from Ramsay. The realization hit him like a wave.   
"Oh gods..." He turned to Lady Asha. "You were right. He'll never find me here." his voice broke, and tears, salty as the sea, streamed down his face. Lady Asha pulled him a little closer, and Reek leaned into her chest, enjoying the feeling of security, of comfort, in a constantly shifting world.   
"There's breakfast below, if you're hungry"   
He wasn't hungry, not really, but the idea of getting to eat again so soon was wonderful, so he nodded.  
"I would like that, I think."   
Lady Asha smiled at him, and Reek felt the corners of his mouth begin to turn up before he remembered not to smile, pulling his lips straight down over the remains of his teeth. She didn't make him try to descend the stairs below deck, picking him up bodily and carrying him. He draped an arm around Lady Asha's neck, resting his head on her shoulder. She carried him back to his room, seating him on his bed.   
"Here." the bowl she handed him was full of porridge, thick and warm. There were tiny pieces of bacon in it, which Reek picked out and ate separately, enjoying the taste of the first good meat he'd had in he didn't know how long. Lady Asha watched him tenderly. "Is it good?"  
He nodded and swallowed his last mouthful. "Yes, thank you. You are so kind, truly." he slipped off the bed to kneel in front of her pressing his forehead to the ground.   
"You don't have to do that."  
Reek sat up. "But it's my place, my Lady. I know my place, I do."   
Lady Asha crouched down in front of him. "I do things differently. You don't have to do that with me. You don't have to call me Lady, either."  
"What should I call you, then?"  
"Just Asha."   
Reek stared at her.   
"Go on, you can say it."  
Reek blushed. "La- Asha. Asha." his voice broke, and he trembled. Asha sighed, and put a hand on his head.  
"Yes. Like that. That's good, Theon."  
"No!" Reek pulled away, scrabbling desperately into the corner, but the room was too small for him to really get away from her, so he pulled his arms over his head and squeezed his eyes shut.   
"No, no, I know my name, my name is Reek, it rhymes with weak, it rhymes with meek, it rhymes with squeak, it rhymes with-" hands grasped his head and shoulder, but instead of yanking him cruelly out of his corner, they gently coaxed him out.   
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that if you weren’t ready.”  
Reek shook his head. “You shouldn’t apologize to me. It doesn’t matter.”  
Asha put her arms around him, surrounding him with warmth. “It does matter.”   
Reek clutched her shoulder. “But I might never be ready. I’m not him. What if I’m not him ever again?”   
She brought her hand up and wrapped it around his, covering it completely. “Don’t worry. I’ll look after you. No matter what.”   
She pulled him closer, and her hands brushed against the wounds on his back. Reek flinched.   
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that-“   
“Is your back still hurting?” Reek nodded tentatively. “Let me see it.” He pulled away from her, turning around and pulling his shirt up. Asha touched his back once, gently. “I have something that can help this.”  
“Really? But what if I forget? I was supposed to learn my lesson.”   
He heard Asha rummaging behind him. “You don’t need to remember anything he tried to teach you. Do you understand that? Now let me see your back.”   
Reek pulled his shirt back up. Asha rubbed something into his wounds. It stung as first, but then it just felt cool and soothing. “This will help with the pain and keep the wounds from festering. Is that better?”   
“I-I think. I don’t really know what to think. If you think it’s good, then it is.”   
“That’s enough. I keep telling you you’re safe, that you can trust me, so why can’t you just listen?” She grabbed his shoulders and turned him to face her. “God, what will it take for you to realize that?”  
“I’m sorry!” Reek held his hands up in front of Asha’s face. “I’m a slow learner but you can teach me, I’ll learn, I promise.”  
Disgust flickered across Asha’s face, and she released him. “That wasn’t what I meant, I swear. You think I would- I would never even-” She shook her head, and left. Reek whimpered when she left. He was so bad, and useless, and pathetic. He didn’t want her to hurt him, but that was bad too. He deserved punishment, and he shouldn’t protest what he deserved. He curled up in a corner shivering and whining, and eventually drifted into an uneasy sleep. 

In his sleep, he dreamed. The dream was strange, yet somehow familiar and soothing. In the dream, he scrambled over rocks, trying to keep up with a girl much taller than him. His body in the dream was small and clumsy, and he quickly fell behind.   
“Asha! Wait for me!”   
The girl turned and laughed. “You can keep up! I know you can!” She extended a hand to him and pulled him up the last rise. There was a small beach beyond the rise, sheltering a tiny bay.   
“Wow!” He grinned up at her “It’s exactly like you said!”   
Asha laughed, and hit his shoulder affectionately. “I wouldn’t lie to you! Come on, I have to show you everything!”   
He smiled widely, and ran after Asha. She smiled back, and called him Theon, only, in the dream, it felt right.   
He woke, with a smile on his face. He tried to push it down, but the unfamiliar expression kept bobbing back up. He was floating, disconnected but strangely free. He whispered “My name is Reek. It rhymes with meek.” but the words fell flat even to his ears. “My name is Theon Greyjoy”. That just fell flat too, and he shivered. There was a knock on his door.   
“Yes?” he managed to say. The door opened, and Asha looked in.   
“Good, you’re awake.” She came in, and sat down. “I wanted to apologize.”  
His head shot up “Apologize? To me?”  
“Yes. I know I frightened you, and I didn’t mean to do that. It’s just-” She passed. “I just didn’t expect this. I didn’t expect you to end up like this, and every time I look at you, I have to remember that I could I prevented this.”  
‘I- I don’t understand what you mean.”  
Asha put an arm around him. “At Winterfell. I should never have left you behind. No matter what happened, you’re still my baby brother, and I let myself forget that.”  
He shook his head. “No, that’s not right. He- I- was insolent and bad. That’s not right. You shouldn’t have bothered. Theon was bad, and insolent and what happened to him was right…” he started to cry. Asha pulled him close, held him like a child.   
“Don’t say that. Don’t. I know you might believe it, but it’s not true, it isn’t.”  
“Are you sure? I mean, I’m still not any use, I don’t even know my name.”   
“I keep telling you, that doesn’t matter. You just need to know that I’ll look after you, understand?”   
He nodded. “I think I remembered something. When we were children, there was a little cove, wasn’t there? And we went there, and it was like a secret for the two of us, right?”   
“God… I can’t believe you remember that. You were only four or five.”   
“I dreamed it. It was real? That’s good. It made me…happy.”   
Asha ruffled his hair. “Good. I have to go back up to the deck. You can come too, if you want.”   
He nodded. He wanted to go back up to see the ocean, let the sea wind wash him clean. He held her hand on the way up, but his legs were beginning to feel a bit steadier now, and he didn’t need any more help. 

The sun was setting when he came up onto deck. It was colder now, but the dark hid him. With his cloak pulled up around his shoulders he was no different from the other men on deck. Asha patted his shoulder. “I’ll be right here. Don’t worry.” He nodded, and went to stare at the sky. The sun was just touching the horizon: it set the sea on fire around it, and the sky glowed pink and gold. He had forgotten there were colours and light like this in the world. The sea air was so clear it almost hurt to breathe. He was crying again, tears streaming down his face and blurring the sunset. He wiped his eyes clumsily with the back of his hand. Someone passed behind him, and he jumped. He was sure it was only one of Asha’s men, but he couldn’t tell. The dark which had seemed so protective only a few minutes before was suddenly dangerous, concealing everything. he stumbled away from the railing. It hurt to breathe, and he realized he was panting, his breath coming in short, shallow gasps. No one stopped him on the way to the stairs, but that didn’t make him any less nervous. He dashed down the stairs and into his room, slamming the door behind him. The lantern in his room had gone out, and he had to grope for his blanket in the pitch dark. He covered himself with the blanket completely. Here in the dark, he couldn’t be seen. Sheltered in the dark, his breathing slowed and evened. He knew it was childish, like a boy hiding under his blankets and thinking that protected him, but he still felt better.   
“Hello?” It was Asha’s voice, and he sat up.  
“Yes? I’m here.”  
Her footsteps stopped outside the door. “Can I come in?”   
He nodded, but realized there was no way she could see him. “Yes. Please”   
The door scraped open. “Were you sleeping?”   
He shook his head. “No. I… I got frightened, and I needed to be alone.”   
Asha lit the lantern, and sat down beside him. “What frightened you?”   
He snuggled into her side until she wrapped her arm around him. “I was up on deck and I got frightened. I didn’t know who anyone was, and I couldn’t see anything…” His fears seemed foolish now, with Asha’s arms warm and strong around him.   
“You don’t have to be afraid. I picked all these men myself. None of them will go against me, and if any of them did anything to hurt you, they’d have to answer to me.”  
“I think…if they were smart, they’d want to avoid that.”   
Asha laughed, and he smiled, basking in her approval. Feeling bolder now, and safer, he reached out and wrapped an arm around her.   
"You could say it again, if you wanted. The name, I mean.” He couldn’t say it, not yet.  
“Theon. That’s it, right?”  
He shook his head. “I’m sorry, it’s just, it’s still not my name. I’m sorry…”  
Asha stroked his hair. “I told you, it doesn’t matter. I’m here.”   
“I know you are.” It was hard to remember what being scared was like now. Asha’s arms were warm and steady around him. He could hear her breathing, and hear the sounds of the ocean moving against the boat, and they were blending together into the same sound. The sound of safety, the sound of hope.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't watch GoT but I did hear when they thought they were doing this plotline and when they didn't I started writing this. (to give you an impression of how long this took -_-)


End file.
